This blog was originally posted here on Collaborative Divorce California.
Should you stay together just “for the sake of the children?”
When marriage is plagued by intense conflict, it may be more beneficial for the children if the parents choose to separate and divorce rather than staying in an unhappy and tumultuous relationship just “for the sake of the children.” By ending a toxic marriage, parents can strive to create an environment for the children where conflict is minimized and replaced with civility. The more parents reduce the conflict their children are exposed to, the better the better the children will adapt to the new family structure of two households.
Benefits for Parents and Children
Ending a troubled marriage reduces the negative effects on children and it can also benefit you and your spouse. Ongoing conflict leads to stress which has a ripple effect on various aspects of life. The stress of the relationship can affect physical health, job performance, lead to drug use, alcohol abuse, or even pose risks like distracted driving. In reducing conflict, both spouses can experience improved well-being and lead more fulfilling lives.
Your Divorce Process Can Also Reduce Stress
The divorce process in our court system is designed to be adversarial and often turns spouses into enemies, engaged in a litigation war with the children as collateral damage. The court system does not adequately address the need for co-parenting skills or ways to improve communication between spouses that will be necessary after the divorce. Couples already struggling with communication and unable to engage in civil conversations during the divorce process need additional support. This is where the Collaborative Divorce process can make a significant difference particularly in the lives of children.
Collaborative Divorce focuses on the family as a whole. It recognizes the crisis your family is experiencing and provides help to navigate this challenging period. In addition to the divorce attorneys, the Collaborative Divorce team involves divorce coaches, child specialists and financial professionals who bring their expertise to the process.
Child Specialists bring the voice of the child into the case. Divorce Coaches help you and your spouse manage your emotions and enhance your communication skills, fostering a healthier co-parenting dynamic post-divorce. The Financial Neutral guides open and honest discussions about the finances and divisions of property – assets and debts. By addressing financial matters transparently, you and your spouse can gain a better understanding of your financial situation, make informed decisions, and plan for your post-divorce life.
When the marriage breaks down and conflict escalates, children are often the ones who suffer the most.
In such situations, divorce can be a viable solution, allowing children to grow up in an environment with reduced conflict and greater stability. Ultimately, prioritizing the well-being of children and striving for a more harmonious family structure can pave the way for a better future for all involved. Collaborative Divorce can help people in a bad marriage get on a better path to a future that reduces conflict and sets them up for better success as co-parents.