When we become a parent, we put our child at the center of our lives.
We make sure their diaper gets changed. Before we eat, we make sure our child is fed. We make sure they are safely in a car seat before we get in the car and put on our own seatbelt. You need to do the same thing when you are going through a divorce. In a child-centered divorce, the goal of divorcing parents is to manage their own egos and emotions and put the child’s needs ahead of their own.
In the divorce process it can be easy for a parent to get caught up by intense emotions and only think about one’s self. While it is important to practice self-care while going through the traumatic, emotional, and financial experience of divorce, it should not be at the expense of your child’s needs. Collaborative Divorce keeps the child at the forefront of the collaborative process and the team of Collaborative Professionals will prioritize the child’s best interests while addressing needs and concerns of the parents.
Divorce is a legal process which means important legal decisions will have to be made.
Your Collaborative Divorce attorney will assist you with those legal decisions while helping you avoid court and the enormous expense of litigation. In the Collaborative Team approach, your own emotional needs can also be met, because you have a divorce coach who helps with communication skills, helps you meet your own needs and keeps you focused on what is best for your child.
The research shows that children of divorce can make it through the divorce and adapt to the new family structure if parents reduce conflict and do not put the child in the middle. Part of having a child-centered divorce is shielding your child from parental conflict.
When you put your child’s needs at the center of your divorce negotiations, it changes the nature of the divorce.
You may be more willing to compromise because it is not just about you, your hurt feelings, your insecurities, or your fears about the future. It is about being an adult and putting your child’s needs first. In the future, looking back, you will probably thank yourself for making that compromise and for your decision to keep your child from being in the middle of the divorce conflict.
The divorce process is about your journey. It is also about making sure you are mindful of how it is affecting your child. The Collaborative Divorce Team approach helps you make sure that the child are protected from the conflict between you and the other parent.
