Going to court in a divorce case should be the last resort and not the first choice.
As the last resort in a divorce case, it means that you have done everything else possible to find a way to resolve your difference with your spouse. Here are some of the most important reasons why it is beneficial to try to stay out of the court system.
You Lose Control
You are giving up the decision-making process for your life and your child’s life to a stranger wearing a black robe. That judge does not know you, your child, your family, or your situation. Yet you are letting that stranger make decisions about the custody of your child. Which parent will your child live with? How are you going to share the holidays? Do you really want a stranger making those decisions for you? Avoiding court allows you to maintain control of the decisions affecting your child’s life.
The Delays
It is difficult to move your case forward in a timely manner because the courts are overburdened. Especially during the pandemic, the court cannot provide the same level of service and is still adapting. They are trying to offer services online, however, it is important to remember it was a slow process before the pandemic, and it is even slower now, and even coming out of the pandemic, more transition will be required causing further delay. When you are in the crisis of restructuring your family, you do not want delays. You want to be able to get through this crisis as best you can and going to court will cause delays in getting to a resolution.
The Cost
When you and your spouse are arguing and too emotional to cooperate, your costs escalate. Going to court is the most expensive way to manage a divorce and going to trail with a judge causes the costs to increase dramatically. The Collaborative Divorce process utilizes a team of professionals help you work through the trauma of the divorce, saving time and money while you and your spouse are the decision-makers. The Collaborative Team approach will save you money. You can work through the financial, emotional, and practical concerns of the divorce without wasting time and money by fighting with no progress.
For Your Children
By avoiding court, your children are exposed to less conflict. The more you go back and forth to court racking up attorney costs, the more anxious and frustrated you will become during the process. That anxiety and frustration will spill over into how you are parenting your children and will affect them. You know the old story of the person comes home from work and they are mad at the boss, so they kick the dog, right? They are not mad at the dog. They are mad at their boss, but they come home and kick the dog. In the same way, you may be so upset about what is happening in court in your divorce that you come home, and you unintentionally take it out on your child, even though you are not upset with them. The emotional and psychological impact of a fully litigated divorce trial on children is unquestioned.
Many people think that their only option is to go to court when deciding to divorce, however this is a myth. Collaborative Divorce is an excellent option that will keep you out of the court. Your team of professionals to help you and your spouse to manage all the legal, emotional, and financial aspects of the divorce.
Mediation is another alternative for couples who cannot make progress on their own because they end up screaming at each other and fighting in court. Mediation works because you and your spouse work with a neutral mediator who can provide legal information to you, brainstorm options and help you explore a variety of ways to settle your differences. Mediation is a good option for couples who want to avoid the cost of litigation but need guidance when trying to talk to their spouse on their own is unproductive.
It is important to be able to move on from this traumatic time in your life. The courthouse is always available as an option but should always be the last resort. Avoiding court is going to help you get through the divorce process more quickly, with a better outcome for both parents and your children. You will be ready to move on to the next phase of your life, by putting the divorce in your rearview mirror and creating your new life as a single parent.
