There are many stories of divorces that take years to resolve. The reasons can range from the legal system itself to the issues that you and your spouse can’t resolve.
Here are some of the reasons a divorce goes on and on and what to do about it.
1. Court Delays and Overloaded Schedules
One of the most common factors that can prolong a divorce is the court’s schedule. If your divorce is going through the court system, you are at the mercy of the court’s calendar. In busy jurisdictions like Los Angeles County, securing a trial date can take months or longer than a year, and once you have that trial date scheduled, it might be another six months or more before your case is actually heard. It is not uncommon for divorces that go the litigation route to last two, three, or even four years.
Tip: To avoid long delays, consider choosing an out of court divorce process, such as Mediation or Collaborative Team Divorce. These methods keep you out of the crowded court system and allow for a more flexible settlement schedule, often leading to a quicker resolution.
2. Emotional Stubbornness and Lack of Compromise
Another major factor that can draw out the divorce process is the inability to reach agreements. If you are too emotionally invested or unwilling to compromise, every small issue can become a battleground. This can lead to endless disputes over minor details, like whether to exchange the children at 5:00 PM or 6:00 PM. While these might feel important in the heat of the moment, they often have no impact in the long run other than to drag things out.
Tip: Try to approach your divorce like a business negotiation rather than a personal battle. Focus on what truly matters and prioritize the most important issues. A willingness to compromise on smaller points can help you reach an agreement faster and move on with your life.
3. Choosing the Right Attorney
Your choice of attorney will impact the duration of your divorce. An attorney who understands your situation and encourages a pragmatic approach can help you prioritize issues rather than fighting over every detail. Litigation is sometimes necessary, but a good attorney will also explore opportunities to settle aspects of your case to avoid prolonged and costly court battles.
Tip: Work with an attorney who values mediation, negotiation and collaboration. They can guide you in making practical decisions, which can speed up the process and reduce your legal costs.
4. Emotional Support and Stability
Divorce is an emotional rollercoaster, and emotions can derail negotiations. Even when you and your spouse attempt to negotiate outside of court, meetings can deteriorate if emotions flare, leading to shouting matches and little progress. This is where having emotional support will make a huge difference.
Tip: Consider working with a therapist or divorce coach. In Collaborative Divorce, divorce coaches help maintain calm and keep discussions on track. Emotional support can help you stay composed during negotiations, making it easier to reach agreements more quickly with less conflict.
5. Financial Complexities and Transparency
Financial concerns can also delay a divorce, especially if one spouse was not involved in managing the finances. It is common for one party to feel uninformed or suspicious about the other spouse’s financial dealings, which can lead to prolonged investigations, paying thousands to forensics accounts and disputes over the value of assets or who should pay the debts.
Tip: In a Collaborative Divorce, a financial neutral will provide transparency and clarity. They will help you both to understand the financial landscape, present various settlement options, and ensure that everyone is on the same page. This approach often results in quicker, more amicable financial settlements.
How to Speed up the Divorce Process
- Choose Mediation or Collaborative Divorce: These alternatives to traditional litigation can be faster, less stressful, and more cost-effective.
- Focus on Key Issues: Prioritize the most important aspects of your divorce and be willing to compromise on minor points.
- Seek Emotional Support: Work with a therapist or divorce coach to manage emotions that can derail negotiations.
- Get Financial Clarity Early On: Engage a financial expert who can help you understand your finances and present fair solutions.
- Select the Right Attorney: Choose an attorney who emphasizes mediation, negotiation and collaboration over litigation whenever possible.
By being mindful of these factors and taking proactive steps, you can avoid a prolonged divorce process and move forward with your life more quickly and with less stress.
Jami Fosgate is a Burbank Lawyer who has dedicated her law practice to assisting clients in a broad range of Family Law matters. For more information or to schedule a consultation, you can call 818-827-7157.
Since 2010, Burbank Lawyer Jami Fosgate has dedicated her law practice to assisting clients in a broad range of Family Law matters. In addition to helping couples and individuals peacefully resolve their cases in a timely and cost-effective manner, Jami Fosgate also provides Family Law Legal Documentation Preparation.
Jami Fosgate’s mediation practice is focused on bringing the parties together to control the outcome of their case and settle their disagreements amicably. By doing so, the parties will be better equipped to co-parent and work together to resolve any future conflicts.
